Actual Bumper Stickers

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.

Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

All men are idiots ... I married their king.

I.R.S. We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

Hard work has a future payoff, laziness pays off now.

I love cats ... they taste just like chicken

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Keep honking, I'm reloading.

Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

Spotted owl taste just like chicken

Hang up and drive.

Happiness is a belt-fed weapon

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather ... ... Not
screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car ...

Tow-ers will be violated

Montana -- At least our cows are sane!

Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy t-shirt

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!

P.E.T.A. people eating tasty animals

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is
like the IRS.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.

Wink, I'll do the rest!

Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

When there's a will, I want to be in it!

Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?

I love animals...the're delicious.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal !

Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling to good myself.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He/She who laughs last thinks slowest

A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.

Beam me up Scotty, there are no virgins left.

Beam me up Scotty, this planet sucks!

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

i support public edekasion

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you
can find a rock.

2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.

I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with
subatomic particles.

I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.

Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.

 
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